Losing things
The ring I left in Barcelona airport may never come back to me. A chunky, single-piece with a flat, rounded-square face and handmade incisions of a flower was made in recycled silver by artist Hannah Reynolds in Glasgow, under the guise of Thrill Of It All. It is a one-off, and my first ever ring.
I woke up from a nap that started immediately after take off, and immediately noticed it missing. Firstly, I scrambled around in my pockets, triple-checking, then searched the opening of my backpack (why it would be rattling around there I don't know). I then created a scenario in my head where the guy sitting behind me —a young, blonde, muscle-type— reached over and slipped it off while I was sleeping. Panic is sometimes irrational, this time it was accusatory.
It realise I must have left it in the grey stackable tray at the security walk-through as I remember washing my hands in the bathroom in the boarding area and interlocking my soapy hands without a hitch. I will of course contact the airport, probably with a phone call, email and tweet, but am fully expecting for it to have been picked up by another flyer.
So I have no ring, just the ghost of it, the lack of it. Is it possible for the memory of an object —particularly one that existed in close physical contact relative to the body for extended periods of time— to hold the weight of an original? How many times will I mistake the spectre of the ring (a negative-weight held in the lack) for its predecessor? How many times will I check my pockets again, hoping to reveal it hidden in a secret fold of fabric? Will it actually reappear unexpectedly once I stop looking, as it has done before?
It's hard to get upset about a material object when I have trained myself so rigorously to care not. I would be annoyed at myself were I not committed to showing more compassion. I can't afford to replace the ring immediately, and have no idea when I could. Perhaps extricating myself of desires of ownership is forcing me to question the significance of (not) having emotional relations to objects.