wed 5 aug
Arrived in a cab at 11.20am, had a tour of the building and grounds from Ernesta. Unpacked all my stuff while marvelling at the studio. Ate lunch with the directors and staff in the reading room, so nice and easy going. Tried and failed to set up a shared computer at my desk and remembered what a technophobe I am, then went walking and picked flowers for 2 hours to balance it out. When I got back I hung them to dry, looked at my phone for an hour then grilled a cheese & kraut toastie for dinner and drank a glass of Lithuanian rhubarb wine oof. Successfully spent 15mins afterwards in a bean bag chair reflecting on my eventful year of failed projects and hard decisions.
Thurs 6 aug
had a chilled out morning, think I ate porridge with banana and chocolate around 11am. Started some writing and reread my original proposal for the residency so as to expand and jot some ideas for activities.
Went to meet Gabriele’s friend Auste in old town for a lime soda bitters who works on some excellent social projects (one matches budding gardeners with elders who have green space they need help with!) then forced her to take me for saltibarsciai then proceeded to eat many potato things. Had been told about a show opening nearby so we walked a nice scenic route through ruins and got a good view of the sunset on the city. We got there, a dilapidated school site with multiple buildings that had drag performers, musicians and chefs running through corridors while young art types sat around on the grass drinking aperol spritz. I felt old but had some great flashbacks of Nunhead Reservoir and Peckham Hotel circa 2012 with a hint of early Franks bar. Got 2 buses back to Antakalnis then walked the river pathway in the dark back to Rupert allowing my eyes to adjust and listening only to the gravel.
There was a big party on site, playing what sounded veery much like a playlist from a pub lock-in: cher, eagles, eiffel 65, madonna. They gave me 50euro for the inconvenience although I had a good sing-along from my window.
Fri 7 Aug
today was a late rise, and after faffing around for 10 mins, I went to the river beach about 100m from my window and had a dunk. The Neris is very flat and calm (ducks chilling in the reeds) and picks up towards the middle, pretty serene. I am spending the mid-days writing as it’s too hot to be out in the direct sun, and I get to listen to D0 Y0U!!!! live which always brings a grounding joy. Around 3 i packed sandwiches and set out on a hike to survey the local woods; I’d already done the field that backs on to the building, so took the east path towards the next town. Mushrooms and berries in the glades, soft greens and herbs in the meadow, plus the most beautiful pink moth I’ve ever seen. I sat by the river to collate ideas and eat. As I got up to leave I realised I was sitting in the nudist beach and everyone tutted in Lithuanian because I didn’t get the memo. Might go back and follow the rules next time. Cooked dolma for dinner and drank a wheat beer while watching Rich Shih talk about koji online.
SAT 8 Aug
cabbages - salota
carrots - morkos
potatoes - bulves
cukes - agurkai
pears- kriauses
apples - obuoliai
tomatoes - pomidorai
Fruit is delicious - sis vaisus skanus
I like - As megstu
sweet / sour - saldus / rugscios
banana - bananai
rye flour - rugina duona
Got up reasonably early to have coffee and cake on the terrace, then borrowed some tools from the bike cafe on-site and fixed up one of the studio cruisers. I Did the one with a basket so I could head out and buy groceries from the farmers market next to the hospital in Antakalnis. They had everything I needed for dead cheap (2 huge marrow 3euro! - why is abundance not cheaper in London?) so picked up suncream and headed back for lunch. In the afternoon I made some ferments with the veg: kraut w green onion & horseradish, lacto tomato salsa, blueberries, curried cauli & carrot. Tentatively sauntered towards the nudist beach, lost confidence and found a great hidden spot a few minutes further down the river. Got in the spirit of it, had an older naked guy foraging cherries throw some to me, and was surprisingly okay with the whole thing. Made me think about english sexual repression v normalised non-sexual bodies and how it negatively controls our perception of nudity and objectification. Went swimming and split my toe on a rock, a chap about my ages must have seen me bleeding and rushed down with some yarrow, gesticulated to chew it and stick it in the wound. Incredibly effective - stemmed the bleeding and kept pain and swelling at bay. Read that it used to be called woundwort and is also very antiseptic. Bandaged it up with a fresh batch and tied with hay, then spent the evening with my leg up and (retrospectively regretfully) watched American History X with some potato rostis.
SUN 9 AUG
Had a lazy morning, ate fried toast & girolles. Headed to Mieste Laboratorijas (a sort of green city lab for start-ups) just after midday as Auste (who I met Thursday) was doing a talk. It was in Lithuanian so I nodded and smiled a few times, but I know that she runs an NGO connecting young gardeners with elderly landowners, which I just think is magnificent. She then showed her worm composting bin and spoke doing it home. Chilled on the grass with an aperol spritz and an average but tasty bowl of cous cous, roast veg and a tomao sauce. After I left, I cycled the river path to Vignio park, did a few laps but didnt really stop so picked green elderberries on the return journey to justify the distance. Videocalled my old friend Manda in the eve then ran to the meadow because the low mist looked incredible. Watched Peanut Butter Falcon and ate potato rosti again.
MON 10 AUG
Last night’s low mist promised wet ground so although I missed my 6am alarm I got out mushroom hunting at 7.30. Walked very slowly and did pretty well to spot around 15 different species, which I brought back to identify properly. Had a quick swim and did a few hours of studio work. Had lunch with Tautvydas who runs the alt art school and spoke about ‘extra labour’ of his dad making endless ferments. Spent a good session in the studio after food and washed my clothes, then went for another dip and read Donna Haraway. Made a huge potato cake w onion and cabbage for dinner. Probably the best Monday I’ve had in years,
TUES 11 AUG
Just ate fruit for breakfast, then had a herbal tea and a visit from curator Kotryna to talk about my residency, the work I’ve been doing so far, and what my plans were for the outcomes. This was super nice as we have lots to talk about and appreciate why having this space and time is so important for me at the moment. We spoke about the deadendedness of city consumption, cyclical feelings of guilt and unworth, and extraneous, post-financial value of labour exchange or timebanking. I went for a walk and sunbathed by the river then took therapy over the phone. Quite a difference from crying on a sofa in their house, thought maybe I could make this a thing and accidentally be in ever-increasingly wild places for my appointment. Managed to sustain laying down a little longer afterwards, then trekked back to base for supper. Prepared and cooked kugelis (potato pie) for dinner with the other Rupert residents, drank a flat but cheap beer and read my Staying with the Trouble for an hour. Could get used to how simple this lifestyle is, and what a positive impact it has had on my mental health. There is a lingering feeling that I will revert to negative thought patterns and taking my situation for granted, so writing this down helps remind me that I am not allowed to right now.